The 19 stages of buying an item in Topshop.

It’s the end of the month, you’ve just been paid and, obviously, there’s no better way to spend your money than getting a new outfit for that big night out on Saturday. You head out to your nearest city and begin shopping with the usual shops in the back of your mind - River Island, Zara, H&M... After exhausting all your options and trying on that hideously, fluorescent orange skirt in Mango, you know you’ve always got that one shop to fall back on to.. Topshop. It’s got the biggest selection, the biggest variety and well, the most clothes in it so you just HAVE to find something in there. 

But any real shopper knows the problems with Topshop. Here's just some of them in the 19 mandatory stages of buying an item in Topshop..

1) You're ambling along the road seemingly happily, chatting along to your friends.. You attempt to engage in the conversation, offering simple yes or no answers whilst all the time, you are actually just scanning for the sight of Topshop.

2) When you do finally spot the big black and white letters, your heart flips and you audibly breath a sign of relief knowing that your shopping trip isn't going to be disastrous after all.

3) Your pace quickens as you approach the doors. You are suddenly aware of all the beautiful clothes in the store pondering the endless possbilities of outfit choice and increased fashion credibility.

4) You immediately break away from your friends. No time for idle talk about meeting places or timings. You're in Topshop and it's time to get serious.

5) You remind yourself calmly that you can only take 6 items in the changing rooms. It's difficult but you must ration your allowance and only pick the very best.

6) After completing the first lap, you begin the obligatory second walk-round. You've been round once but Topshop is just so big, you have to go round again and check you haven't missed the perfect outfit, a beautiful necklace, a quirky crop top..

7) Panic sets in as they don't have anything you like and you're worried you will have nothing to wear for the imminent night out. You become more frantic and increase your likability radius.

8) Panic forces you to turn to the overly indie section. You start thinking.. Indie. I can do indie. You begin visualising images of cool scrunchies and socks and jellies and your confidence in your choices increases. The possibility of starting a fashion blog even emerges. You grab anything and everything.

9) After queuing for half an hour for the changing rooms, you realise your indie decision was a massive mistake. What were you thinking?! You can't pull off a see-through poncho or the ridiculously crazy leggings. You remind yourself you are not Alexa Chung.

10) You revert back to normality and proceed with trying on your usual choices but falter when you realise nothing fits you. You check the label twice. Size 10? It says it's size 10! Panic sets in again as you realise you will have to call the shop assistants in front of everyone to ask for a bigger size. Yes, how embarrassing, a bigger size. 

11) As the shop assistant announces to the entire changing rooms that "no, you're 'bigger request' is out of stock", you insist the original size is fine and you "just wanted to try it for size". You return to squeezing yourself into the tiny garment explaining to all your confused friends that "it's just the heat" that's stopping the clearly 'too small' shorts from fitting you.

12) After trying on 30 pieces of clothing between you and your 5 friends, you're the only one to keep a piece. And of course it's the shorts that are too small.

13) You approach the till, hand over your item and attempt to act normal when the till displays an amount you clearly don't have in your bank account. You smile at the shop assistant and hand over your card like you have all the money in the world and your fashion sense is as good as hers.

14) The shop assistant is friendly and compliments your purchase. You momentarily day dream about the possibility of you being friends as she's so nice and pretty and has great clothes AND could get you discount. She hands over your bag and you snap back into the harsh reality of the actual world where you get no discount and you can't borrow her clothes.

15) You leave with your friends clinging on to the subsiding happiness of your purchase, all the time picturing your new shorts with various garments and shoes and convincing yourself how good you are going to look on that night out.

16) You get home, try on the shorts and realise they just don't fit. NO.. NO.. You try various tops, crops, vests, bralets and eventually you find something that makes the shorts look.. ok. Not great.. just ok.

17) You wear the shorts on a night out and all your friends comment on them.. "aw, they're the ones from Topshop!" You feel good and soon forget about how small they feel.

18) Several weeks later you try the shorts on again. You realise how ridiculously small they are and vow never to wear them again cursing Topshop for the wasted money.

19) You enter Topshop weeks later, spot the perfect dress and your previous heartbreak is forgotten. Immediately, your love is rekindled and Topshop re-enters your preferences as your favourite shop. 

Well.. until next time.

Why UEA really is wonderful.

UAE? UEE? UE-what? are just a few of the questions that follow when I tell people that I attend UEA. So, for those in the category of question- askers, I attend the University of East Anglia (UEA). UEA being in Norwich. Norwich being in Norfolk. Norfolk being in East Anglia. East Anglia being in the East of England. And yes, this is totally necessary because even the 'cleverest' of the country can't always place Norfolk on a map. And this saddens me. UEA is a beautiful place in England and so many people overlook potentially attending the university because no one even knows where it is! 

Therefore, this compilation is totally necessary and hopefully raises awareness of the wonderfulness of UEA.

UEA lake

We have our own lake! UEA's lake is located in the heart of the campus amongst suitably impressive views of the emerald green fields and "eye-catching" buildings. Okay, yes. We are a little bit concrete-y. But that just adds to the character and history of the university. This beautiful view was taken on my iPhone last September during picnic by the lake. Everyone needs this as their backdrop to their degree.

The Square

We have a square! And, funnily enough, no, it's not square-shaped. It's kinda diamond-y. But it has steps, an ice cream man, the Union bar, a fountain, a cafe and, most importantly, the sun. Somehow, it attracts the sunshine and retains the heat all day. At the slightest bit of warmth, we all excuse ourselves from the library and  congregate in the square with a cider and a pair of sunglasses.

Pimp My Barrow

And this leads nicely on to.. Pimp My Barrow! PMB is an annual event which is held post-exam period. Teams of five decorate a wheelbarrow and dress up accordingly for the whole day. They then wheel their barrow around a designated route in Norwich stopping at various pubs. There are prizes for the best dressed and a winner at the end of the day for the overall race across Eaton park. It sells out every year and really is a great day! Especially when the weather is amazing.

Here is the "A-Team" last year.

It is based in Norwich.

So this one may be snubbed by some of the country. But, actually, Norwich is amazing and we aren't inbred, hillbilly's or detached from the real world. For the boys, Norwich hosts high class premiership football (just about). And for the girls, a massive shopping mall with House of Fraser, French Connection, River Island and Zara with Topshop near by. It also does alternative shopping which isn't so mainstream. Upper St Giles Street contains a cute bakery, vintage shops and quirky charity shops just around the corner.


So, all in all, UEA is great. And in case anyone still doubts me, here is a video by ueaofficial that 100% confirms it...

"Tea or coffee?" "Err... just water please."

Recently, over the last few weeks, I’ve become rather obsessed with coffee. This has somewhat stemmed from my belief that the ability to answer ‘tea or coffee?’ without pondering which taste is most bearable for 20 minutes is necessary to conquer adulthood. Another contributory factor equally derived from the depressing, untimely legal reading that ultimately causes all students to turn to caffeine in a feeble attempt to stimulate them through their latest all-nighter. And coffee being the coolest, cheapest and least sugary form of caffeine meant I was soon hooked.

So, I compiled a list of reasons why you should be hooked too:

It’s an affordable luxury.

By now, if you hadn’t heard about the effects of the ‘recession’, you must have been living under a rock. But it’s true that, actually, coffee profited through this hazy period. This is because, regardless of the economic grief struck through our country, most people can just about scoop £2.00 out of their pocket to afford a bearable start to the day. Living on a student budget, I know I can..

It’s remarkably sociable.

Back when I didn’t like coffee, people would constantly suggest I ‘met them for a coffee’. And, of course, I was always happy to meet them whether I actually had that coffee or not. ‘Going for a coffee’ is a great way to catch up with friends, break for lunch or add a highlight to a hideously boring day of revision.

You feel more productive.

Whether the boost actually helps you or not, I definitely believe I work better in the hour directly after a caffeine hit. Be it coffee, latte or mocha, my brain tells me that I should be more awake and therefore I can suddenly, magically hone in on my ability to focus solidly beyond the temptation of social media.

It goes well with cake.

Croissants, chocolate cake or victoria sponge. It’s undeniable. Any type of drink that goes well with cake will always be a hit. And an incandescent love of a coffee and a croissant is easily enough to get anyone out of bed at 7.00am.

So there you have it! Coffee is great. And for those yet to believe me, try it yourself. And if you’re yet to like it, trust me… you’ll get there eventually.

A first versus work experience: would you rather?

As I approach the end of my degree, this is a topical debate. Is it best to pour your efforts fully into your academic studies or to balance them with the relevant work experience?

I guess, to an extent, is it career path dependent. For example, with a history degree, most work experience is directly irrelevant to your degree. Yet with a law degree, the entire legal sector revolves around vacation schemes and mini-pupillages.

Focusing on the legal sector, being a law student myself, the choice is obvious. Unless you have powerful contacts or a Daddy as a Judge, you are going to struggle without work experience. Yes, a blinding first class degree will get you an interview but the skills you learn from the work experience will get you through the interview and the vacation scheme.

Companies want personality and, more than ever, they are drumming this message through their graduate recruiters. They all want someone different, “out there” and who, ultimately, can small talk potential clients into becoming new clients. This ‘skill’ of personality is inherent but practicing your personality on the office junior and the manager of the company you’re-not-interested-in-but-needed-it-on-you-CV can really teach you when certain jokes are appropriate and.. well, just are not. All of these things may help your interview and meet-and-greet technique when it comes down to an important graduate job.

And work experience can mean WORK experience. Important life skills learnt from the mundane and tedious waitress position in the empty, beach-side café can really help. That time when the picky family complained about their £6.99 (shop bought) pizza HAS taught you something in life which you can utilise in everyday, graduate life.

And, of course, the university from which you attained your degree is important too. Many universities lower in the tables add an extra year in industry to their degrees because they are aware firms will be more interested in a 2:1 from Cambridge than a 2:1 from, say, Derby. This reinforces the importance and weight of work experience accompanying a degree.

And now, back to that matter of a first. YES, aim for that first. And YES, by all means, work your socks off trying to achieve it as, ultimately, you are more employable with a first than a 2:1. But, don’t dismiss any work experience opportunity as unhelpful or below you as you never know how it can help or which blank interview question it may fill.